Movies and a sick sense of humor

MY brother died right before the Wolverine movie came out he was the one to show me the trailer. now around the same time a few great movies are coming out. iron man 2 and the A-team. don't get me wrong I am excited has a virgin on her wedding night. also a little sad has a man going to movies with other men is a bonding experience that I treasure. and to know that Chris would of flipped his lid for a A-team movie brings a sorrow and regret that is just bubbling at the surface of my excitement like a La Brea Tar pit if I focus on it it will suck me down. for most folks I would assume the trigger be holidays or dates on the calender but i tend to measure my life in movies.

I posted on my face book that" My brother didn't commit suicide i think he was just doing the worlds best Abraham Lincoln impression! BADA BING BADA BOOM!"
I think my humor is a good way for me to deal with him and his final exit I hope to one day have a whole comedy routine based on his suicide does that make me the joker? form batman? is this normal to deal with grief using awful obtuse humor?
every time some body mentions Chris the most awful inappropriate jokes spring to mind
like
Q:what was going through his head that night?
A: a 9mm bullet!
does that make me a monster?