Well,
Facebook memories popped up a post from this blog a thousand years ago. Has I was reading the old posts I realized that I am in a completely different place then where I used to be when writing this in 2012. a few things have not changed I am still an ardent follower of Jesus and a father,but I am no longer married and am now barely scratching the six month sobriety mark. I have 3 beautiful daughters 6,3,and 1 years old. My wife left me or has I type this she is in the process of leaving me I will get into that cluster in a later post. It has been almost 8 years since my brother died by suicide. and here I am repeating some of the same mistakes he did. I fell back into my addiction to handle life troubles and my marriage ended.
Update(2017):
I am officially divorced and have been with out my wife for almost 2 years.
I am still struggling with my sobriety, but I am in such a happier place then I was when I was married for the first time in my life I feel free and emotionally happy. I live my life defined by Jesus not if my wife is mad at me or not. It was a traumatic event to be sure but it doesn't define me it is a thing that happened to me. lets all be honest and say that it takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to fight for it.
it has almost been 9 years now and both me and my brother are going through similar circumstances but the out comes are radically different.
Chris drank himself to death and put a gun in his mouth
I went to counselling and started to pick the pieces of my life up and realize that the marriage I was in was super unhealthy and we would of imploded somehow anyway. I am not the reason for my divorce and she is not the reason for the divorce we are the reason together. my self identity is found in Jesus not the love or crazy expectations of my spouse (who I still talk to and we do a good job co parenting)
and now that i am free and single the only person I am responsible for is me and now I am starting my journey of self discovery. the layers of my identity have been stripped away.
