I miss my brother, but I also have to be realistic about his fate, or the fate of all who are lost
this is not easy for me to talk about in fact I wonder if I should share it with others, but my faith demands I do, let me start from the beginning. My name is Sheppard Lusk and on February 26th 2009 my brother Chris Lusk fatally shot himself committing suicide. I can not remember a time past that date it defines me and is the nexus of all my thoughts and actions. I am also a Christian when I say Christian I am sure a bunch of media stereotypes pop instantly in to your brain, or that I am a person who never swears and goes to church. That is not what I mean by Christian I prefer to say I have a “faith” and my faith is built solidly on the only thing capable of saving me or you for that matter and that thing is Jesus Christ. The tenets of my faith are quite simple and not has political has most of the media makes them
1.all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God(Romans 3:23)
2.salvation is found in no one else for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved (acts 4:12)
3.Our salvation is based upon faith not works (Ephesians 2:8-9)
4.Salvation is necessary plain and simple or we go to hell (revelation 20:15)
now I say these things not to “push my religion on you” but to honestly tell you the truth, this is the way the world works when you die you are judged by god and sent to where you belong heaven or hell. Plain and simple merely believing that god doesn't exist or that “he is a the most miserable character in all of fiction” doesn't change the fact that he is real.
My brother did not accept the message of Jesus Christ, I will admit I don't know what he was thinking the last hours of his life or what he said. Here in lies my problem I don't have a lot of guilt about being afraid to talk to my brother about my faith no in fact the last real conversation we had was about god and the matters of spiritual things, I don't have guilt that is not the right word I have anger I am pissed off I guess at my brother for not making a good decision he said he wasn't “ready” not knowing he only had a few weeks to live you are never ready. I am mad at him that he damned himself to a eternity of fire and wailing and gnashing of teeth, and it breaks my heart literally it BREAKS my heart but I hope my heart break will be your wake up call, I am asking you every body who reads this not to dismiss what I have to say but to honestly consider if they need a savior, please please don't reject this message like my brother did, my heart is so burdened with sorrow for him knowing that has a believer in Jesus Christ, I will never see my brother again. We will be separated by a veil for God is holy he cannot be in the presence of evil (think of vampires and crosses if it helps) but he is also Just and Loving so he will judge each person who dies fairly and with out bias and perfectly. And at the end of his judgment the blood of the savior will determine up or down. Being a christian is not about being a republican it is about being a follower of Jesus living his message of hope and love every day, and trying to the best of your ability to share his message with the people you know and care about. In the end thought nothing I can say or do can make your heart change or I cant make you accept this message
even if I could it wouldn't be the kinda message I want to endorse. What I am trying to say is please don't look at what the media or idiots portray has Christ followers look at what the sourse of the message says separate the two halves. And look at it and see if it is not for you, I am sorry for all the hurt and pain we have brought you usually it is all our fault but please look past that at the crux of the message and that is really that “god so loved the world he gave his only begotten son and who ever shall believe in his shall not perish but have everlasting life”
I guess I just needed to say that to the world because I have already lost forever one person who was very dear to me I don't want to lose another not if I can help it. It makes me feel powerless to not effect change in your life or in my brothers life because I don't serve a god who is a god of mind control but he lets us and expects us to make decisions on our own.
I have to take comfort and faith in one verse “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away “ Revelation 21:4
that is how I deal with Chris's death and his resting place my faith is tested but is it really faith if It is never put to the test?
That is what I am dealing with now the whole idea of never seeing my brother again and putting that reality to practice with my faith I don't know how I deal with it or if I ever will but it is a reality for me and it is I feel so damn alone with this burden
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