trusting god

1. god is infinite, I am finite
2. God is never the problem
3. God loves me
4. Sin infects everything including my understanding of 1-3

that is my new mantra of sorts i think my problem is I am not trusting god, and denying my anger at my brother, it is true I am furious with him. he made the worst decision a person could ever make, and quite frankly I am starting to realize that he never cared about me at all. I feel hurt by him in my book our relationship was a priority to me. I told him if he ever needed anything day or night to call me. i would even drive down to texas on a moments notice for him i was willing to walk through fire for him I guess it was not the same for him. that king of cocks! he didn't even bother to call me he called my folks but not me. it is clear to me (my councilor disagrees) that i mean nothing to him has a brother he cared about all these women he couldn't have over his own brother. has he never seen an action movie? my therapist thinks that maybe i was the one person who he couldn't bare to call but i think he was so selfish i didnt even cross his mind. wow i have a few hurt feelings about this. and when it comes to where he is heaven or hell i need to trust god but it is so hard (that is what she said) i don't have that comfort of seeign him again or do i? only god knows really.